I have developed a list of small goals. Every day I try to accomplish at least one goal. This is what has helped keep my mind busy and positive over the past couple of weeks.
Now when we think of goals, alot of times we think about things like getting a new job, cleaning out the garage or getting a new car. The problem is, those goals are harder to reach, and though they might be attainable, its going to take longer to get there, and cause more frustration and feelings of failure in the process. As a society we keep our eye on the prize, reach for larger acheivement and aim high because thats what we have been taught to do. Thats how we get ahead in life. That is what I have been doing the past few years and that is what has driven me to feel the power of defeat. I feel like a lesser of a person because I want to sell my house and havent been able to do it in a year. I am not fulfilled with my job, and I can't seem to get out of it because there seems to be no where left to go. I feel doomed to stay where I am because anytime another opportunity arises, there is an obstacle that keeps me from acheiving that goal that I want so badly. As a matter of fact, i have had yet another let down just this morning on something I have been keeping my fingers crossed for.
Well what I have decided in my time off is how to rethink things, and re-evaluate my goals. Where I used to set my goals higher, Ive now set them lower. That normally would sound like a bad thing, but guess what? I have acheived three goals this week, where I havent been able to acheive one goal in several months. I have to say, it feels good to know I got it done. I feel like I am worth something.
One of my biggest small goals was cleaning out and reorganizing our closet. How many of us clean our house routinely--do dishes, sweep floors, etc.--but overlook things like our closet? I was able to go in and color coordinate all of my clothes, which told me that I wear entirely too much black. Maybe I could use a little more color in my wardrobe. I figured out half the shoes that have plagued me by falling off the shelf when I am looking for the right pair, needed to be thrown out anyway because I never wear them. I found a package of letters from college from Pam, Nanny, Kristie, and other people that influenced my past. i found my birth certificate and passport. I found some perfume I had been looking for for months. I discovered money in old purses. I found three gifts I had put back for my brother for his birthday in January. After the deep cleaning was complete, not only did it look better in my closet and did I get rid of a bunch of stuff, but I found precious treasures and I fet accomplished. I had reached my goal.
Because my blog deals with the "throne", I would like to point out that just because you cant see under the rim, it doesnt mean that it doesnt need attention when you are cleaning. Thats what our closets and pantries are like. They are hidden and of course, out of sight out of mind. Its also a job that most people want to ignore, but who knows what you will find when you face it head on.
The real purpose of this blog is not to tell everyone to go out and clean every nook and cranny forgotten in your bedroom, but that its ok to set small goals and work on those while you are waiting on the results of the big goals. It helps keep up your morale and hope. It reminds us that we are able to feel accomplished. Ive let morale get so low that I have given up on alot in life because nothing good seems to happen our way and hasnt for a while. I dont think cleaning my closet is going to change my disappointment in not being able to sell my house, but it will build me up until finally that day comes. It will remind me that I have a purpose. One goal was going to eat lunch with my daughter Tuesday, and her face when she saw me at school was well worth it. That made me feel a greatness I havent been able to feel for a long time.
Well, I could continue barking on but I do have a list of things to try to work on. We always hear the phrases "one step at a time" or "you cant build rome in a day". Maybe thats true, but I have learned and am still learning that its the little projects that make it all worthwhile until you reach your ultimate goal.